


The Grinch

by utuki



Category: One Piece
Genre: I wrote this three years ago, M/M, i dont even know what it's about anymore, it was for the 2013 zosan christmas exchange omg, please dont read this, posting for the sake of posting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2016-10-26
Packaged: 2018-08-27 03:23:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8385313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/utuki/pseuds/utuki
Summary: Their first holiday together as a couple will be perfect, Sanji tells himself.





	

The sun shines softly through the curtains, highlighting the living room in alternating yellows and browns. Zoro shifts when bright light strikes his closed eyelids, disrupting illusions of golden hair and lingering touches. He cracks one eye open and rolls over to face the back of the couch. His foot kicks cushions onto the ground and he falls back into the warmth of an ethereal, welcoming embrace and the lull of blissful sleep.

  
The front door slams open and a black heel crashes into his face, shooting him back into the reality that yes, it was all a dream, and yes, his nose is in a lot of pain thank you very much.

  
"Fucking shit, curly brow!" he growls at the cook from where he had fallen on the ground. He rubs his throbbing forehead.

  
Sanji scoffs and uncrosses his arms to exhale smoke from his cigarette. "Well, well... if it's not the green haired Grinch who slept through lunch." His clad toes tap the ground in time to emphasize his next words. "My handmade, home-prepared, excellent lunch."

  
Zoro pauses mid-rub and frowns at the kitchen table for a moment. The last thing he remembered before plopping on the couch for a short nap was the image of Sanji walking into the kitchen, donning the pink apron and gloves, lunch preparation ritual complete and ready to go.

  
He spots the tops of two crisp, plastic-wrapped bowls, clearly untouched in any way. He yawns and blinks at them for quite a while, then glances down at his naked toes and mutters, "I'll eat it later. Damn you… should have told me lunch was done."

Sanji huffs and kicks a fallen cushion at Zoro, which he catches with one hand. "Really, though. Franky doesn't even need to dress up as Santa anymore. You could be the green-haired Grinch who hands everyone their shit Christmas present."

"The grinch turned out to be a pretty great guy at the end, though. Are you implying that I'm Grinch the Great? Or that I'm a great guy?" Zoro winks up at Sanji.  
Sanji grows red in the face and yells, "You're just a shit grinch!" He stomps back out the door to hide his smile, "Just make sure you put the food in the fridge to eat it later! And go and unpack the damn car.”

Zoro groans and shakes his head.

Sanji swings his scarf and the red and white patterned snowflakes fall around his shoulders. “Hurry up, Marimo. You're slowing everyone down."

Zoro tosses the cushion back onto the couch and grumbles as he follows the cook out into the cold. "Tch, the only person here I would ever want to slow down is you, ero-cook. And wait, you said something about unpacking?"

He steps around the corner of the building, and comes face-to-face with the green pine needles of a magnificent evergreen tree, strapped across Zoro’s car. Its branches dip low, past the windows of the silver Range Rover. The trunk lay flat and steady along the rooftop of the car, and already he could smell the pine's minty scent permeating the chilly air around him.

Smoke wraps around a branch to Zoro's left. "Impressive, isn't she? Your kin." Sanji opens a door to step onto the edge of the car. He begins to untangle the rope keeping the trunk of the evergreen tree tied to the steel bars of the Rover.

"Shitty cook, she's just a plant." Zoro shoots back, but nevertheless climbs onto the other side of the SUV to help speed up the process.

Sanji chuckles and tosses the rope into a pile at his side. “And you aren’t?”

Zoro growls.

"Well, Marimo, I figured you wouldn't bother, so while you were snoozing I took it upon myself to buy us a nice, fine Christmas tree. I don't want to be seen without holiday spirit at our first party tonight, ya know?"

Zoro scoffs and tosses his rope into the pile over at Sanji's side of the car. He ducks his head into the back seat and spots a plethora of plastic grocery bags containing food and a mess of jangly shiny things in several separate cardboard boxes.

"What's this?" Zoro questions as he crawls into the car.

Sanji peeks under the roof and exclaims, "Right! We're decorating the house today!"

"Wait, what?!" Zoro yelps and tries to back out of the car. "We never agreed to this!" He bumps his head on the ceiling and drops down to the floor in pain. His hand also lets go of the bag of glass ornaments that he had been holding.

At the sound of breaking ornaments, Sanji calmly closes his eyes, takes a deep, deep breath, and violently kicks the tree over the side of the car.

Later, when Zoro staggers into the house, fuming with the tree in tow in one hand and nursing several noticeable bumps on his forehead with the other, Sanji smirks quietly into his steaming mug of coffee and takes great notice of the falling snow outdoors.

~***~

Once Sanji finishes hanging the ornaments on the tree, he determines that they should finish decorating the rest of the house as soon as possible. He wants to begin preparing for The Christmas Winter Celebration Party long before it actually starts.

"In other words, you" he clarifies, pointing at Zoro’s twitching eyebrows, “are going to decorate the living room, bathroom, halls, windows, and rooftop. I, on the other hand, will do the more important task of putting the light-up reindeer out front. And preparing the grand feast, of course."

Zoro groans into the backside of the sofa and chugs down the other half of his daily beer.

It's only through several threats of hiding all the booze for the rest of the day (and maybe no nighty-night cuddling), does Sanji finally coax Zoro into helping him embellish their house with holiday decor.

Zoro glares at his bossy dumbass prince for several moments, then proceeds to pick up some kind of red and purply garland-like stuff from the floor.

Sanji glances up and says, "Hold on. That's for the bathroom, to hang up next to the door and the cabinets. Make sure they don't fall in between the drawers and hinges or I will kick that shitty thing on your shoulders inside out, you understand? After that, take these fucking tiny ass lights and put them next to the…"

Zoro tunes out the lovely melodies coming from Sanji's mouth and nods and grunts at the natural breaks in the cook's speech. Although he appreciates that Sanji has planned out all the little details about where each fucking shiny piece of plastic goes, he doesn’t pay attention to any of it. He would much rather think about the way Sanji had licked his upper lip before he began talking or how the cook should really be getting a haircut soon because that fringe that is brushing against the side of his jaw is also testing Zoro's patience just a bit too much.

As Zoro's gaze lowers with each passing second, Sanji loses his train of thought when he notices that Zoro is still staring at the general area around his silver belt buckle. Chuckling, he bends down and catches Zoro's eyes, stepping forward to wrap his arms around the other’s neck and press his chest against his boyfriend's torso. Zoro lightly places his hands on Sanji's hips as Sanji sidles up in place.

Slowly he tilts his head to sensually whisper in a husky voice against the other man's lips, "If you can finish decorating the house before I finish cooking, I'll let you decorate… ," he hesitates here, "… me… any way you want tonight."

Zoro has never hung stockings or wreaths in his life as fast as he did on this holy day.

~***~

Jazzy Christmas music waltzes in through the open doorway, lifting Sanji's high spirits even higher. He hums along to "Joy to the World" as he dusts snow off of himself on the porch. He just finished setting the reindeer out next to the steps that lead to their house, and he is just about ready to begin preparations for the feast.

He knows that this Christmas will be one of the best, and he can't wait to spend it together with Zoro for their first winter together. He steps through the doorway, and as he begins to remove his jacket, he hears a few thumps coming from where Zoro was decorating the living room.

But something heavy crashes down with a sickening thump.

And as Sanji's mind slowly processes the sound, the cacophonic tinkling of cracking glass gradually drops away into a breathless silence. He blinks and dashes into the room in a crazed frenzy. Immediately he spots green hair lying in a halo of blood and sapphire glass crystals in one corner. As he makes his way over, with his heart dully throbbing behind his ears, he belatedly realizes that the sharp pricks he feels at the soles of his feet are actually broken glass and pine needles that originally belonged to the tree, now collapsed.

Sanji tears his mind from the minute pain and his vision zeroes in on Zoro, who is already trying to sit up with clenched fists. Sanji shifts his body so that he can help the other lean on his shoulder and avoid slipping on the blood that drips slowly from multiple wounds on his arm.

"Shit, what happened, Zoro?!" Sanji demands loudly.

"Nothing, I just slipped and fell," Zoro replies a bit too quickly.

Sanji realizes that the garland Zoro had tried to drape on the windows had fallen down halfway. The blue curtains that Zoro bought long ago were torn from the bar above the window and the sun highlighted the rough frayed edges. Metallic pieces of the broken garland still fall mockingly through the air, twirling down paths of leaves in beautiful reflected rainbow colors. The ladder leans precariously on one leg against the wall, denting the paint and creating jagged patterns. It almost looks as if a peaceful war had taken place in this corner of their living room.

Sanji loses it and pounds Zoro on the chest.

"What the fuck were you thinking?! You are such a green! Stupid! Idiot! Hanging them behind the fucking tree! Look, now all the ornaments are broken and the wall has a hole in it. You fucking ruined ever-“ He lowers his raised arms and his voice fades into a whisper when he sees Zoro clench his teeth and cross his arms across his chest.

Zoro, frustrated, turns to face him. Sanji notices how Zoro keeps his eyes on the empty floor where the tree had been standing so proud and beautiful only a few moments ago.

“Hold out your hand,” Zoro demands. Sanji numbly opens his palm. Zoro shoves whatever he had been holding into Sanji’s limp hand.

He stands up, but Sanji grabs onto the back of his shirt and softly croaks out "Wait, that’s—“

Zoro just stares down into Sanji’s eyes and starts to say something. He clears his throat several times.

"Guess I'm really the Grinch who fucking ruined Christmas, aren't I? Just gave you my present." He hollowly laughs. He isn't even smiling. Sanji looks down at his hand and his grip on Zoro’s shirt slackens.

With a scoff, Zoro turns around and if it hadn't been for the tense shoulders and furrowed brows, Sanji would have believed that Zoro was as calm and uncaring as a butterfly in the sun. Zoro slips out of the living room, stepping carefully around the tree.  
The bedroom door shuts loudly with a bang.

After several minutes, Sanji stands up from his slouched position. He cleans up and tosses all the ruined holiday decorations into the trash.  
He had held the shining pieces of what used to be his first Christmas gift, a beautiful blue crystal ornament, handed down through generations from his deceased father Zeff.

~***~

"Hey, heeeey, Sanji!" Luffy shakes the man who was giving Robin an in-depth overview of a new recipe he has created. The strawhat boy promptly earns himself a kick in the head for disturbing the adults' very, very deep and meaningful conversation. "Where is Zoro? Why aren't you guys together? I want to play the new video games Franky got for me with him and Chopper! I'm so excited to play it! And he really needs to try your hammm mHMMm diis ith good."

"He's probably outside getting drunk or something, that shitty idiot." Sanji grits his teeth at the mention of the other and sucks his cigarette in a deep breath. He exhales slowly and watches the smoke twirl into the air.

He hasn't bothered to move his smoking away from the food even though everyone has already started eating. He ignores the voice inside his head that's saying maybe, just maybe, it's because he doesn't want to smoke outside in the patio, where he could see the Marimo leaning against the railing with another bottle of his cheaper wines. Sanji doesn't forgive him for being thoughtful enough not to take the expensive ones.

Well, let him be bitter anyway. Sanji sighs.

He doesn't even know which one of them he's referring to anymore.

"But Sanji!" Luffy whines. "Why doesn't Zoro get drunk with us? That makes it all the more fun!"

"I'm not sure, Luffy. He's been like that all day, to be honest. He has a problem." Inhale, hold, exhale.

"Hmm, I’m pretty sure he’ll figure it out with you, like always. Ya know," Luffy points his drumstick at Sanji, "you’re acting pretty weird, too. Umm… did you forget to cook some meat? Because if you did, I would be really sad like you right now." Luffy takes another bite of steak.

"No! Luffy you know I never mess up my food. And yeah, he’s just pissing me off. I didn’t even do anything wrong…” Sanji pauses for a moment under Luffy’s penetrative stare. “B-but I got my beautiful ladies to have the real, deep, conversations with!" Sanji's eyes turn into hearts as he mentions them and he slides down his seat all the way to the ground like a noodle.

"Well, you guys are stupid all the time, so I’ll just take some of thiiiiis," Luffy becomes distracted when Usopp passes a plate of turkey over Sanji's food. Luffy takes Sanji's plate too.

Sanji sighs once again, albeit for a different reason. He pushes himself off the wooden floor with a pat on his pants and sits in his seat properly once again.

Usopp nudges Sanji with his elbow. "Why don't you tell us what's really getting at both of you? It's Christmas! Zoro should be celebrating with us right now."

Sanji blows smoke straight at Usopp’s nose and decides why not. "Well, remember that ornament my old man got me for my first Christmas?"

Usopp coughs and waves the smoke away.

"It turns out you aren't the only one who knows about it. I wonder how in the world Zoro learned where I got that piece of shit from." At this point Usopp becomes extremely interested in his arm hair.

Sanji rolls his eyes and continues, "The idiot broke the shitty thing earlier today," Usopp gasps here, "and he's been moping by himself. I told him he could just replace it, but he ignored me and said memories are attached to objects and those can't be so easily replaced."

Usopp taps his chin. "Zoro does treasure his possessions a bit more strongly than other people…"

Sanji takes another long drag. "Well, I admit I am kind of bummed that the old man's present is ruined, but that shithead hasn't eaten anything at all!," Sanji violently stabs the cigarette into the overflowing ashtray. "He's too fucking stubborn to say sorry. He’s been there the whole time." Sanji nods his head towards the window. And you can't say sorry either, he mentally adds.

Usopp frowns in thought and accidentally stammers out something about how he can help and some kind of “fixing”, except Sanji is too out of it to notice. Nami on the other hand, has been listening to the conversation, so she smirks and encourages Usopp to do whatever he can. In her own way, of course.

Usopp squeaks and starts blowing into a tissue that appeared out of thin air. "B-b-but I think I just caught a cold! Ah, ahCHOO! I don't think I should go out there in the f-f-freezing – "

"I will reduce your debt by fifty percent."

And with a "Wow! I feel so healthy now! It must be a Christmas miracle!" Usopp excuses himself from the rowdy table, announcing that he can smack some sense back into Zoro. Sanji sees no harm done, except maybe to Usopp, so he shrugs his shoulders and continues chatting with the ladies.

~***~

After several boisterous hours of hard partying and everyone except Robin, Nami, and Chopper has drunk themselves into a stupor, the group begins to disperse in pairs, and finally singles.

Usopp is the last one to leave after offering to help clean up the living room. He wishes Sanji a good luck bro! and make sure he doesn't do it again!, with a bonus of a suspicious wink! and an is it FOUR already ohmygoodness toodly-doo! that leaves Sanji either slightly nervous or excited.  
He isn't exactly sure which one he's feeling at the moment, but he knows for sure that the butterflies in his stomach are going bonkers and his hands can't really hold the garbage bag properly. He doesn’t really want to think about the forecasted Awkward and Silent Adventures with the Marimo that were bound to happen soon.

He reminds himself, it's because he drank too much, so no wonder he can't stand up straight. He sits back down. He'll just wait it out. After all, there's only one other person in the house right now, and he knows that this is not a state he wants to be in when The Confrontation happens.

Eventually Sanji starts to doze off in front of the fire. It is too cozy here, and he just doesn't feel like getting up anymore, and he thinks it's most likely his imagination that Zoro really is there, slowly tugging the trash bag from his hands. Maybe he really was pulling a blanket over Sanji’s tired body, brushing his bangs aside to slowly lay a chaste kiss on his left temple – making Sanji's lips quirk up at the very end of it all. He closes his eyes once more and the lull of sleep draws him closer into warm and soft darkness.

The last thought he has before falling unconscious is that he only had half a cup of wine, and there was no way in hell he could be such a lightweight.

~***~

A slight winter breeze flows through an ajar window and tinkles bells, tracing goosebumps on pale skin and ruffling sheets of soft cotton and wool. Christmas lights shine reds, greens, blues, and yellows on the floor in cascading dances, slowly fading away and blending with the sun rising through the curtains.

When he wakes up, the first thing he notices is the warmth. He snuggles into the warmth a little more as he feels arms tighten around him. A light snoring reaches his ears and he shifts his body around so that he faces Zoro.

The movement wakes Zoro so that he opens his eyes to stare into Sanji's blue ones.

"Morning," Sanji smiles. Zoro grunts and rolls onto his other side.

Chuckling, Sanji folds his blankets over onto Zoro and heads to the kitchen to make some tea. The sun has already struck its first orange and purple rays throughout the dark sky. Sanji pauses next to the sink window to take in the beginnings of a new day.

As Sanji prepares the chamomile tea, Zoro watches from the floor. He lays, mesmerized by the black outline of Sanji moving in a backdrop of brilliant colors .

Eventually, Zoro calls out, "Oi, come over here. I have something to show you."

Curious, Sanji takes their tea and walks over to the fireplace. As Zoro silently watches, sitting cross legged on the rug, Sanji sets the other's mug on the table before taking a sip from his own.

Zoro sheepishly pulls out a poorly wrapped package from underneath the tea and hands it to Sanji. He looks away and mutters, "Merry Christmas, ero-cook."

"Hn? You already got me a present though," Sanji refers to the set of fine Wusthof kniveshe unwrapped last night with the others. Zoro had lingered somewhere back in the kitchen at that time.

Extremely curious, Sanji tears open the haphazardly taped and wrinkled paper. When he takes out a misshapen clump of crystals and dried superglue, the corners of his eyes crinkle and his smile widens into a delighted grin.

"Really, Zoro. Wow. How did you even do this? You can't possibly have repaired it this well."

Zoro slightly pouts as he watches Sanji twirl the lopsided ornament on its new twine. "After I ate some food from the fridge, Usopp had me get it from the trash. And he gave me some glue. So maybe he helped. A little."

Zoro shrugs and tries to look nonchalant about it.

And really Sanji can't hold himself back anymore from lunging at the swordsman.

"Thank you so much, shit moss."

"I didn't do anything much, really."

Sanji knowingly smirks and pecks Zoro on the lips. "Merry Christmas to you too, idiot."

Sanji knows he had been wishing for the impossible, but as Zoro lays between his legs smiling with a steaming mug in both of their hands, back to chest, both of them swaddled in blankets and the sun shining warmly behind them, he believes that it is alright, he doesn’t need anything else. It was perfect already, and totally possible.


End file.
